A Lot of Random Shite
by TheOnyxDragon12
Summary: A random collection of one-shots, each being different. Featuring: Electric Cherry, Revenge From Afar, Honor, Memories, Poison, Pain, Sadomasochist? & many more, if I get suggestions. Warning: Anything and everything may happen.
1. Electric Cherry

(A/N: I got really bored on Saturday night. [I got sick earlier so now I've just got this build up of energy that I haven't spent.]

So I read a little bit around the forums, compiled bits and pieces of a conversation into a poem, added some of my own bits and BOOM, BABY! Your Electric Cherry jingle was born.

This is a result of my late-night genius. Please don't kill me in my sleep if it's awful. Or if you might want me to continue with song-related one-shots.

-The Onyx Dragon)

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><p>This ain't no ordinary berry, It's Electric Cherry!<p>

I'm gonna pop some caps,

Only need 20 hundred in my pocket!

I-I'm a shock em while I'm reloadin'

This is really awesome!

Walk up from the box like whuddup? I got big shocks.

Nah, I'm just just pumped on this shift filled juice box!

Blasting the fiends so damn stressfull

But now we like:

"Reload! Ha! Them Zombies got a bolt full!"

Rollin' in Hell deep, headin' to the E.C.

Stained all in blood, 'cept my gangsta shoes, those are clean

Draped in sharp knives, freak sacks moanin' next to me

Sure glad I bought this, stings just like PHD (BZZZZZT!)

But hell it was 2K cents!

Coppin' it, drinkin' it, bout to go and get my shockin' in,

Passin' up on the Doctor's Shit, someone else go and Flop on it

But me and my EC ampin' it man

I am stunning and shocking and

Saving my reloadin' ass I'm hella happy

that's a bargain bitch.

Let's reload, electric style.

Let's reload, electric style.

No for real, Cherry does this all;

I shine the brightest smile. (Thank you!)

An AK-47 and some Galva-knuckles,

Reznov's Revenge now that I had pack a punched it.

I got cornered, they died in the corner.

I looked around the room, zombies didn't scream anymore.

"Hello? Hello? Zombies, where'd you go!?

You ain't got nothing on my game!

Yeah, Cherry's hella dope!"

I'll toss a mag into the cell doors,

and then the undead will be like,

"Run! He's gonna reload!"

I'm gonna zap some heads,

Only need 2000 on my scoreboard.

I - I - I'm shocking, looking for a power-up

This is Electric Cherry!

This ain't no ordinary berry, It's Electric Cherry!

Don't need no PHD,

This blasts Electricity,

Reload the Ammo, Cock your gun,

Now its time for some shocking fun!

But be warned it doesn't last,

But when you go down you're in for a blast!

You've got them zombies swarming in the lots,

Blast them with your Gigawatts!

I'm gonna shock them dead

Got 20 clips left in my mag

I'm busy killin'

Waitin' for a re-stock

This is Electric Cherry!


	2. Revenge From Afar

(A/N: My original plan for this one was to pick up from the events in Moon, and head into Origins with this fic. But alas, another idea with potential was dropped and it will stay here as a one-shot until 1] someone wants to adopt it from me or 2] I decide to write on it.

So... Enjoy, I guess.

Oh, and cyka (soo-ka) is Russian for b*tch.

-The Onyx Dragon)

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><p>Dempsey's POV<p>

"Enjoy jourselfes!" Dick-thofen's demonic voice rang out joyfully as I found myself flat on my back, on a dusty patch of ground, in my body once again. "I'll be back to destroy jou later!"

I flexed my fingers. You couldn't even enjoy that physical sensation of moving in the Aether. It was weird, floating around as a soul without a body. It almost felt like we were dead. I absolutely hated being in the Aether. The other guys, Samantha and I were basically cramped together, trapped in some place I can't even begin to describe while Richthofen was off doing who-gives-a-fuck.

But that's not the worst part of what Richthofen did to us. He returned our memories. I remembered EVERYTHING. And it felt like a knife in my windpipe.

I had a beautiful brown eyed wife named Teresa. And a pretty little girl too. Abigail had my bright blue eyes and her mother's long dark hair. She would've been a knockout in high school. I choked back a sob as my throat started to constrict painfully. I wasn't there for Abby. I couldn't be. I dreamed about the "Jugger-girl" but I had a wife! My family was probably dead... And it was all Richthofen's fault.

I blinked hard, one dusty tear running down my face as I grit my teeth, curled into a fetal position, thinking to myself. _Why did he have to be such a sadist? Why did he have to torture me? I'm the only one with something to lose. Takeo only cares about his honor and he MURDERED his family, Nikolai's a drunk, and then there's Samantha. She has nothing left to lose because it's... Already gone. _I looked down in guilt. _Just like me..._

I blinked, and wiped my grime-covered face, before looking up at the kiddo. She was asleep, eyes closed and... in her own body! How?

Takeo coughed roughly. The guy didn't look so good. He was awfully pale. I walked over to the log he was laying on, wheezing from all the smoke around us.

"Poor Dempsey, forced to breathe in stench from Takeo's boots," Nikolai slurred, sitting down at the base of a cindering tree. He was out of vodka, so his slurring was because he's done enough shots for a lifelong buzz, or he was losing it like the rest of us.

"You wirr-" Just then, Takeo broke into a violent fit of coughing, and I held him still. He was shaking violently. "Arigato."

Nikolai shivered. "T-that Richthofen will pay. We will make him, da comrades?"

I nodded, and Takeo murmured a faint "Hai." Or maybe he was just choking on another breath.

Nikolai looked at the FN FAL laid in his hands. "How did we get here? Everything made more sense before I was sober."

I threw another stick on the fire Takeo had started. "How much do you remember?"

"A pyramid. Richthofen talking in a really odd voice... Well, odder than the crazy one he's already aquired," Nikolai continued. "The earth burning... Hell pig going for my throat like sixth wife, and then nothing."

I unscrewed the cap of a water canister, refreshing my mouth. "I'll catch you up, Commie."

* * *

><p>I grit my teeth in anger as the zombies' glowing yellow-orange eyes turned bright blue. "RICHTHOFEN, YOU DIRTY LYING TRAITOROUS BASTARD, GET YOUR SOUL BACK IN THAT NAZI BODY SO I CAN KICK YOUR ASS!"<p>

I'm so mad at him I can't even think of a fitting insult, but you-know-who tutted. It ticked me OFF. Somehow, the fact that he was in Samantha's body made me even madder. It was pedophilic and it made me think of my daughter Abby-and I REALLY WANT TO TEAR HIM IN TWO! "Now, now, Dempshey, mind jour language. Zere are children in zee room."

As if on cue, Samantha giggled as she poked a dead crawler zombie. "I mished zee vay he crawled on zee floor! He vas so cute! Like... Fluffy..."

I honestly did feel bad for the kid. She didn't deserve all of this. He took her father, he destroyed her home and future, he corrupted her and the only reason she tried to kill us is because she knew what Richthofen was going to do. Well the last part wasn't so great but at least she tried to warn us. Although she could've done it in a way other than murder, but that's not the point! Richthofen was a sick fuck who deserved to die, skip the incarceration! You guys know, that, right?

_"Men get arrested. Dogs get put down."_ The words echoed in my head as I loaded one of the last clips into my M16.

I looked back at the closed pyramid. Four tubes, one glowing yellow, one blood red, one navy blue and a royal purple, had popped up at each of its corners.

"FEASHT ON ZEIR FLESH MEIN CHILDREN!" Richthofen cackled as the zombies collectively growled at us. We were surrounded and running out of lead fast. Everything happened so quickly.

I watched Takeo go down; they were too fast for his aged body. He was able to glance at me though his squinted brown eyes. "Honor me! End Richthofen!" The light drained out of them, and his blood drained onto the floor.

Samantha in the Doc's body screamed. "Mr. Takeo! I promise! I will kill that nasty Richthofen for taking everything away!"

Nikolai threw a QED. A red ammunition box popped up. I cursed under my breath. My last spare mag was gone.

Sam went down kicking and screaming, and pulled out her two CZ75's. "If I fall, you tumble with me, puppets!"

"Dempsey!" Nikolai shouted, shooting the Wave Gun. "Run! It is too late for them! Take that you undead cykas!" He backed up a few feet, just to get jumped by a second horde. "I feel stupid..."

I turned. The astronaut grappled me. I couldn't get a hold of my knife or my gun. He teleported me to a place purely white.

* * *

><p>"So... We all died?" Nikolai summed up.<p>

"Hai," Takeo confirmed. "And resurrected."

"Betrayed by Benedict Arnold himself," I spat, holding Samantha. What? For all I know, she might get eaten by coyotes or something.

"What now, comrades?" Nikolai asked, lacing up his combat boots.

"I have no plan," Takeo admitted modestly.

"That's kinda been Ed's job," I agreed.

Samantha giggled creepily. She was a freaky kid, but still a kid that deserved a life. "They don't know a secret."

I looked at her. _Whaddya mean by that, kid? _

"May we be permitted to know this secret?" Takeo asked. He was always so respectful. No wonder people trusted him easily.

"As long as jou promise not to tell Richthofen," she said slowly.

"We promise," We all said one at a time.

"Good," She said, pleased. "The secret is that there is something inside of that temple. Something strange that gave me power, and gives him power, too. You too, Dempsey."

I swear she was staring into my soul, reading me. Did she know about you guys too? I know Ed heard voices, but... I don't think you guys are like that. You guys are actual people (or aliens or something), some nicer than others. Or maybe you guys are just a figment of my imagination, my own type of crazy caused by the element. ...Nope. No matter how hard I try to say that you guys AREN'T real, my gut instincts say you are.

Man, if Nick or Tak could hear me, I bet they'd think my gears were as loose as Richthofen.

"Um," was all I could reply. I thought fast. "But I never touched the temple."

"Jou don't hafe to," She said simply. How does she know so much? "Zey choose jou. Zey chose me. Zey chose Edvard. But zat's not zee point. I shtill hafe zee gift. I can shtill feel zee power in my veins."

If I didn't know any better, I'd say that Nikolai was scared. It was just the look on his face when he asked, "This gift... What is it?"

Samantha laughed, like a normal child this time. "Zey liked how I played vis my dolls, how I zought of new ideas and created vis zem. So zey gave me zat power."

"To alter the world?" Takeo inferred.

Samantha nodded. "Zey gafe Edvard zee power to rule. Zey vanted him to hafe zee power for a little bit, so zen somevone else could take it and deshtroy zee vorld as vee know it."

I absorbed all of that. "So you're saying that someone after Edward is going to make the universe implode or whatever?"

She nodded. "And my job is to repair it, to create another world where the mistakes made here were never made again. To give the new world order."

I stared, shocked. "But what about us?! What about the rest of the world?"

"This is bigger than us and the rest of the world," She replied. "As far as I know, us four will be in the new world." She glanced at Takeo for a minute, like he might not be there or something. What's up with that? "As for the rest, they are zombies. That is what they are trying to prevent. They do not want Group 935 to discover the element, ever."

"When does this Apocalypse start?" Nikolai said, more sober than ever.

Samantha's eyes were dim. Maybe she wasn't just a kid after all. "The end of the world has already started. It is in our hands to finish it."

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><p>(Ending Note: So, if anyone else wants to dive deeper into this idea and finish it, just PM me or leave it in the box below. More than one offer is accepted.<p>

-The Onyx Dragon)


End file.
